Just made a pact with my buddy Eileen that we would blog every Wednesday. So I'm feeling like...yeah...okay...I can do this; just gotta remember to stick to it apparently.
Just bought a Mac (thanks to my enabler--love you!).
The funny thing is that I assigned my students a prompt a few weeks ago in which I asked them to make deep and meaningful connections to a character in a text. Many of them just focused on similar events; in fact, I'm pretty sure some of them just straight up lied. But now that I'm writing my own response to, well, life, I find myself making those same weak connections. I did this and I did that--wasn't I some great storyteller in some past life (like middle school)? What happened to all those thoughts that just had to make it down to paper, some way, some how? I feel like I definitely have a lot to say--hell, I talk my girls' ears off all the time anyway, but is it meaningful?
Am I meaningful?
So back to some shallow connections--I left Scott. And for those of you keeping tabs out there, YES we weren't dating to begin with, but I still left him anyway, back in some emotionally turbulent past in which I couldn't be what he remembered wanted and he couldn't give me what I needed. And if I'm wrong, and if and or when this every will or ever does go to print I am wrong or something has changed, so be it. This is now. This is what I know. And I know that we are--I am--....exhausted I guess? Not meant for each other? Just sick of it all? Having a bad...fourteen months? I don't know, but I can remember being so excited to come here, to be here and be the person I've always wanted to be. The person of no excuses, the person of action and accountability, the person who gets the damn thing done and feels better than good--great, cuter than cute--sexy, and more awesome than awesome--exceptional. A girl who's clumsy, with class. With a smile and a crooked tooth in the back (actually they're all in the front--aren't I supposed to be saving up for Visalign?)
So here it comes, here it goes, here I am. Being, and living, and loving.
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